I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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