I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
