the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
