Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My feet surprised me
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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