She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
