try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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