I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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