Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
