I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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