i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
