You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
