So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Drunk is not a location!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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