oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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