do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
