I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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