Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
