My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
When are your genitals available?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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