I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
as a side note pls kill me
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
