I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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