Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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