oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
