But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
