Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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