..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I woke up under a house in Key West
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
