I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Randomize
