You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
