I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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