And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
