The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
