He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
