Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
