There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
