According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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