U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You dont lie about slip and slides
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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