i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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