There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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