Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
