The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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