Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
