so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
