i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
