I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
