sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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