Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
