I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
