I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
