first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
