In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
