If i come over, it means nothing
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
