Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just pee around me
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Randomize
