your thong is hanging out like whoa
operation harelip BJ is a go
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
